Saturday, August 21, 2010

Tim and Robin in Tonga

Immediately after Camp GLOW finished, I rushed back to my house, and spent the next 36 hours frantically cleaning and doing laundry to prepare for…my parents! Tim and Robin came to visit me in my village, and if you think I was excited to have them here, it was nothing compared to how thrilled my neighbor, Lupe, was. She had been preparing for their visit for months and truly outdid her normally amazing hospitality. Lupe and ‘Alisi, her mother, made beautiful flower/leaf necklaces to greet my parents, and send the children with me to wait at the airport while they prepared some special Tongan food in the ‘umu. The plane was a little delayed, but finally it landed, and Robin made a bit of a scene running across the runway (or so I was told- all my neighbors were watching from their backyard). Even though their bags were somewhere in NZ, they were happy to be here, and off of planes, and we headed back to my house to rest and eat the first of many many meals.

In a truly Tongan start to their time here, our first night was spent at a massive feast. A deacon was ordained at the Catholic church in town, and Catholics (and feast-loving non-Catholics) from all the islands in Ha’apai came in to Pangai for the event. Lupe took great care dressing all of us up in her Tongan finest, although I’m not sure how wild Tim was about wearing a skirt and Robin about wearing a mat. In town, there was a big fancy mass with the Bishop of Tonga and all the Tongan priests and nuns, complete with beautiful, if somewhat competitive choir singing. This was followed by the largest feast I’ve ever attended. Seriously. Luckily, I convinced Lupe to let us all sit at the back and one of the less intimidating tables, where we could watch the entertainment from a comfortable distance. The food was a great introduction to Tonga: shellfish, octopus, taro, sweet potato, chicken, pork, beef, fish- it was all there. There were many traditional Tongan dances, which were beautiful, especially a very ceremonial and formal one depicting the making of kava. It was a lovely, if somewhat overwhelming, first day in Tonga, and I’m really glad my parents got to see some true Tongan celebration.

After finally getting our luggage we headed out to Uoleva to stay at Patti’s resort for a few nights. The island really is my favorite place in Tonga, and we had a lovely time relaxing on the beach and in the pillow huts. Tim really enjoyed the hammocks, and slept in one at night, even in the rain. We saw a humpback whale off the shore on our last evening, which was beautiful and incredible. We had to stay an extra night, which we were more than fine with, because Ha’apai experienced a slight fuel shortage when the fuel ship stopped running for a few weeks (two men died aboard because of a gas leak of some sort and one of the men was the son of the owner of the boat so it couldn’t run while the extended funeral took place). It was a perfect relaxing break, especially after the stress of the camp, and we all had a lovely time.

When we got back to my village, Tim quickly established himself as a siana ngaue (man who likes to work) and siana fakamalohisino (and man who likes to exercise). Although the Tongans didn’t really understand why anyone would wake up early and walk to town just to walk and go swimming everyday even though it was winter, they really enjoyed watching him do these things, and then, of course, talking about it. Once his ridiculous obsession with coconuts was discovered, people started stopping by to give him or my neighbors coconuts to drink and eat, and of course, to laugh at the fact that anyone would be so enamored with coconuts, something that’s absolutely everywhere here. The boys at my school were thrilled to have a new palangi to play and swim with and Tupou, my almost 3-year old neighbor, quickly realized she could get anything she wanted from him by looking adorable and yelling “Timi!” and then slipping in hints like “I’m hungry”. The language barrier didn’t even matter as she just pointed to things she wanted and took anything she was offered! Leo, my neighbor, was also excited to have a man to hang out with, and was kind enough to let Tim accompany him to work in the bush, something my father is very very proud of, and to drink kava. He even enlisted his help in killing pigs to roast, which was pretty fun, apparently.

Robin and I took a much more low key approach, going to walks on the beach, to see the land bridge, and into town. We spent a lot of time cooking and reading and relaxing, and even ran my ever popular cake baking lesson with class 6 one afternoon. While Tim, who will eat pretty much anything, was thrilled to devour all sorts of Tongan delicacies, Robin had one memorable barrier when presented with a pig leg complete with a little hoof sticking up. Yes, it was pretty funny. While Tupou was on a mission to charmingly exploit Tim, Fotu made it his duty to teach Robin Tongan and spent hours pointing things out to her and patiently correcting her pronunciation, all of which she promptly forgot. This was nothing compared to the difficulty Tim had remembering my neighbors names, and Fotu became Frodo for the better part of the first week! Robin also made another friend: Kava, my neighbors’ 7 month old and 30 pound baby. He is still the most adorable baby ever, and definitely the fattest one. Lupe made sure to bring Kava over for Robin, who she is convinced is very sad inside because she doesn’t have any grandchildren yet. These sentiments were always expressed with a meaningful look at me, since she, as she keeps reminding me, had her first child when she was 25.

As a break from our very laid back time in Koulo, we went whale watching one day with Brian and Sabina, which was awesome. Although we didn’t see any whales, we did get to hear them with a special underwater microphone, and we stopped off a few times to go snorkeling. Tim and Robin loved it, and we saw some beautiful fish and coral and even a little reef shark. I enjoyed it too, but I was freezing- it was winter! We also took a little trip up to Foa to hang out at the beach one afternoon and eat at Matafounua.

After 2 weeks, it was time to head to Tongatapu so my parents could go back to America. Lupe and her family prepared a ridiculous amount of gifts, which added to the crazy Tongan gift-giving circle: Tim and Robin initially brought some presents for my neighbors when they came; Lupe prepared obscene amounts of food and Leo killed a pig to thank them; my parents bought some special foods and ice cream to thank them; Lupe and her mother made many incredibly beautiful Tongan handicrafts: fans, bags, wall hangings for my parents, brother, and sister; I bought them a stroller in Tongatapu to thank them for the pig…oh Tonga, it never ends!

In Tonga we stayed at a snazzy higher end hotel with real showers with hot water(!) and thanks to the kindness of my friend and her wonderful boyfriend went on a mad sun-set tour of the main island (our plane was delayed coming in…of course). We managed to see the Ha’amonga (big mysterious stone archway) before the sun set and surprisingly were able to see a fair amount of the blow holes in the dark under the stars, which may have made it more incredible. On their last day in Tonga, we went shopping for handicrafts and jewelry and canned powered milk…don’t ask! Luckily, Monica’s mom was on the same flight back to LA and we all drove to the airport in a van from her school.

I am so glad my parents were able to visit, and I really think they enjoyed their time here. It was really nice “seeing” Tonga from someone else’s perspective. Since I’ve been here for a bit, I don’t always appreciate how beautiful it is, and how kind and loving the people are. It was nice, especially after a big project and heading into my final few months, to re-realize how lucky I am to be here, and what an amazing place this is. I also realized how many of the cultural customs I’ve internalized, and don’t even think about. Because of this, I think I may have done a less than stellar job of preparing my parents for certain events, but it was pretty interesting to see that the things I first struggles with, I don’t even think about now. I loved having my parents here, and I’m just so glad they were able to see where I’ve been and meet the people who have become so important to me!

Camp GLOW Ha'apai: in Retrospect

Well, this update is long overdue, and to be honest, I’m not sure why it’s taken me so long to write. To start with, Camp GLOW was incredible! It was an amazing program and a wonderful, if exhausting, week, and I’m really proud that we were able to pull this off. The girls all loved the camp, and I think everyone involved learned a lot.

The week leading up to the actual camp was definitely the most stressful week I’ve had in the almost 2 years I’ve been in Tonga. Not everything was planned (in fact, most session weren’t), a key Tongan who we were really relying on bailed and hadn’t done anything she said she’d done for a few months, and about half of the campers dropped out for one reason or another. This being a new program, I think some parents were hesitant about allowing their daughters to join, leading to excuses like “my daughter is not allowed to attend because she has to stay home and do the cooking.” Yikes…

Anyways, working with another volunteer who is coordinating all the camps and her amazing counterpart, we were able to get almost everything into place, and we started the first ever Camp GLOW Ha’apai as scheduled, albeit an hour or so late given the “Tongan time” factor for everyone to arrive! We ended up with 15 campers: 13 girls in form 3 (9th grade) and 2 “youth” (girls who finished high school), 4 PCVs, and 4 Tongan ‘counselors’ as our core camp group. We were also lucky enough to have 4 amazing women with connections to the Wesleyan school we used who served as our caterers, and I really do owe them my life- without all their help, we never could have pulled anything off, or dealt with the occasional Wesleyan roadblocks we encountered during the week.

We started the week off focusing on goal setting and planning and motivation to achieve goals. This was a new concept to the girls and most of the counselors, and we spent a lot of time throughout the week revisiting and revising personal, professional, and educational goals and laying out the steps needed to attain them. We were lucky enough to have some amazing guest speakers come to our camp to run sessions. A really incredible woman from a bank here came and taught the girls about budgeting and savings, something that’s a real issue here, and the focus of the bank’s nation-wide educational initiative. We enlisted the help of a female lawyer, who taught the girls (and me!) about the rights women and children have under Tongan law and about different movements in the South Pacific to try and get countries like Tonga to agree the U.N.’s human rights laws.

We also had two women from incredible NGOs in Nuku’alofa: the Women and Children Crisis Center, which helps fight domestic violence and abuse, runs a safe house for battered and at risk women and children, lobby parliament, and run trainings, and Tonga Family Health Association, which does a lot of education and outreach on HIV/AIDS and sexual health, a pretty taboo topic here. These women ran sessions on Women’s Health, Sexual Health, and Sexual Harassment, all of which the girls had had little exposure to before the camp. We did all sorts of risqué stuff like touch condoms, talk about sex, and reinforce the idea that it’s not ok for men to sexually harass women. Writing that, I realized it doesn’t sound like a lot, but, especially for Ha’apai, this was pretty ground-breaking.

While the camp was happening, word spread though the NGO channels, and mid-week I got a call from the Tongan branch of the Salvation Army- they had heard about our program and offered to come and run a workshop of Drugs and Alcohol and Anger Management, both of which were wonderful! We also had the support of the local Police Domestic Violence Unit, which has a female officer in Ha’apai who came to meet with the girls, and various businesses, who hosted a few girls one morning to show them the career opportunities available to them here and provide examples of successful females in the workplace.

The camp was by no means all work, although we did spend quite a bit of time in the classroom. We also felt strongly about incorporating healthy lifestyle factors and creative expression into Camp GLOW, things that girls in Tonga really aren’t exposed to. Physically, we did some dancing and aerobics along with stretching/flexibility and relay races, and, a camp favorite, swimming at the wharf. We also did a lot of team building exercises, including trust falls (a bit scary, I’ll admit!) an afternoon with a parachute: a real crowd pleaser. On the arts and crafts end we made team posters to decorate our dormitory, tie-dyed t-shirts, and made a camp banner. It was really fun watching the girls get to use the art supplies we take for granted back home- they were all so excited and they looked awesome in their t-shirts.

For night activities we held a beach camp fire one night, which was a fun escape, watched “Mulan” in the dorm on a giant projector screen (sheet), had a “Club GLOW” dance party complete with strobe lights, and even had two of the girls dress up as pop stars and audition for “Digicel Star”, a Tongan knock-off of American Idol sponsored by a communication services company and being filmed by a fellow PCV!
To cap off the week, we had a program for family and friends where the girls performed skits and a dance, received awards and certificates, give speeches, and, of course, ate lots of food. It was really great watching the girls on the last day and seeing how special this experience was. Most of them didn’t want to leave and kept asking to stay one more night (something the extremely sleep deprived side of me wasn’t going to allow) and almost all of them begged to be allowed to come back next year as junior counselors. All in all, it was just incredible.

To be honest, as a pilot program, we ran into more than our fair share of obstacles and learned a lot from everything. But, this isn’t the time or place to get into that. Really, it only means the upcoming camps in other island groups and next year’s Camp GLOW Ha’apai will be even better! This camp and working with these girls was by far the most important thing I’ve done here, and has been such a phenomenal experience. The girls we were able to spend a week with really are the future leaders, and it was wonderful to watch them learn so much and grow of the course of just one week. Setting up a grass-roots program like this around Tonga really will change the future of this country. I know that sounds corny and cliché but I do think it’s true. The best way for developing countries to change their course is to invest in education, especially for girls, and seeing what 15 girls in Ha’apai are able to do if pushed, it makes me very optimistic.

I truly couldn’t have made Camp GLOW happen without help from all of you. To all of you who helped me work out details, listened to me vent/be crazy, spread the word about the camp, donated online, and understood when I made this a priority above other things, thank you. I can’t express how grateful I am for all the support I received, and how integral it was to the success of the program. In summation, Camp GLOW Ha’apai was a “glowing” success (I know, I couldn’t help myself) and an amazing experience!